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sudomakesandwich

Where uptime meets lunchtime.

Irreverent sysadmin humor, served fresh. alias lunch='sudo make sandwich'

$ sudo make sandwich
[sudo] password for user: ********
> Compiling bread...  ✔
> Adding lettuce...  ✔
> Applying mayo...   ✔
> Build complete: /usr/local/lunch/sandwich

Latest Posts

About

sudomakesandwich is where sysadmin culture, CLI jokes, and snack-driven uptime collide. It started as the eternal command: sudo make sandwich — and spiraled into a tiny site, a tiny blog, and a not-so-tiny amount of mayo.

What is this?

  • A playground for sysadmin humor, BOFH-grade snark, and terminal aesthetics.
  • A lightweight static blog — drop Markdown in /posts, it appears on the homepage.
  • No backend, no database, no cron jobs. Just vibes, HTML, and a sandwich emoji working overtime.

What you’ll see on the blog

  • Runbooks that probably end with rm -rf /tmp/crumbs.
  • Benchmarks for SPS (Sandwiches Per Second).
  • Postmortems where the root cause is “we removed mayo as an unused dependency.”

Stack (because people ask)

  • Static site, Tailwind via CDN (or self-hosted if you like CSPs).
  • Markdown rendered client-side with marked + sanitized with DOMPurify.
  • Deployed from GitHub Actions to a container that serves it like a polite lunch cart.

Contribute / say hi

PRs welcome. Corrections, memes, and condiment PRs go to [email protected]. Response times adhere to our SLA: “Eventually.”

# Disclaimer
    # No actual production clusters were harmed.
    # Not dietary advice. Not operational advice. Definitely not legal advice.
    # If this site breaks, try turning it off and on again (the toaster).

Help

Known errors & translations

Show table
Error Meaning
Permission denied Forgot sudo. Sandwiches require elevated condiment privileges.
418 I’m a teapot Wrong appliance. Try /usr/bin/sandwich, not /usr/bin/teapot.
No space left on device Clean /var/crumbs or mount more bread.
Connection refused The kitchen firewall blocks port mayo. Open :57 (sauce).
Segmentation fault Cut diagonally next time.
504 Gateway Timeout The server waited for the bread to rise. It did not.

BOFH Runbook

Show steps
  1. Blame DNS (“works on my lunch”).
  2. Tell user to clear their sandwich cache (rm -rf ~/.sandwich).
  3. Apply fix: sudo gpasswd -a $USER condiments & relogin.
  4. Rollback by aggressively denying reality: “It never broke.”
  5. Write postmortem attributing root cause to a cosmic ray hitting the mayo jar.

CLI help

Show CLI usage 
$ sandwich --help
  Usage: sandwich [bread] [filling] [condiments]

  Options:
    -h, --ham            add ham
    -c, --cheese         add cheese
    -pb, --peanutbutter  add peanut butter
    -j, --jelly          requires --peanutbutter
    --dry-run            assemble without calories
    --spicy              enables experimental jalapeño feature flag

Tip: add yourself to the condiments group to avoid repeated sudo prompts.

Email the BOFH · Read the runbooks